fingernails.

on me, short nails look like i'm 12. and/or a boy. and i feel like my fingers are mere nubs because i'm so restricted doing anything if i clip them down. but i did. because i like to forget things i already know and learn them the hard way again and again. i have a couple other things in my life that i similarly, painfully put myself through to torture myself with guilt and regret and utter annoyance. 

but i digress. back to the fingernails.

as i clipped and shaped and painted them a pretty purple, i felt a tear. 

these are the allegedly award-winning fingernails that have traced patterns as i've whispered prayers of thankfulness, hope, vision, security, grace, comfort over the backs of those i love. 

it was my way of being momma bear. of listening and showing support. of being Jesus' hands. 

i just miss that tonight. miss that community. miss that intimacy, however strange it may seem. 

i miss people calling me liesie. it is a privilege i allow of only a select few, but those few don't live in my house or down the street anymore. 

i love dallas. i just am thankful for that strange season called college.